For a 'bit of a laff' :-)

Started by RNinMunich
15 replies 142 likes Last activity: 2 years ago
#16

For a 'bit of a laff' :-)

Cats Rule!

A German Shepherd, Dobermann and cat died.
All three face God who wants to know what they believe in.
The German Shepherd says:
“I believe in discipline and loyalty to my master”.
So God tells him to sit on his right side.
Then it was the turn of Dobermann and he says
” I believe in the love, care and protection of my master”
So God invites him to sit on his left side.
Finally, it was the cat's turn and God asked cat the same question.
Then the cat answers
“I believe you are sitting in my seat”.

Poster's observation-
So, contrary to Douglas Adam's contention-
The Mice DID NOT order the creation of the EARTH as a vast computer to calculate 'The answer to Life, The Universe and Everything'.
IT WAS THE CATS who created the Universe and knew all the answers already!!🐱🐱

😁😎
Young at heart 😉 Slightly older in other places.😊 Cheers Doug
Liked by Len1 and MouldBuilder and
#15

For a 'bit of a laff' :-)

A wife asks her programmer husband to go to the store
‘Can you go down to the store, and get a gallon of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6.’
Later on, he returns home and she looks at his purchases and says
‘ Why do you have 6 gallons of milk?’

He responded
‘They had eggs.’

"Simple logic Jim."

😎
Young at heart 😉 Slightly older in other places.😊 Cheers Doug
Liked by jbkiwi and pressonreguardless and
#14

For a 'bit of a laff' :-)

Did you hear the one about the Italian Chef who died?

He Pasta-way
Taxi for Fred
That's all right, Mr Ryan. My Morse is so rusty, I could be sending him dimensions on Playmate of the Month.
Liked by pressonreguardless and Wolle and
#12

For a 'bit of a laff' :-)

humour around here is gettin' lower den da foil tip on a becalmed hydrofoil😁
Force nothing, waste nothing, leave nothing undone
Liked by pressonreguardless and hermank and
#9

For a 'bit of a laff' :-)

Doug, My deodorant does not say push up on bottom. However, it does require to twist on bottom so it not only smells good when I .... but feels good as well.
Lew
https://www.RCFlorida.org/lmb
Liked by PhilH and pressonreguardless and
#8

For a 'bit of a laff' :-)

Nearly sprayed my keyboard with coffee when I saw this one!
Had to laugh out loud😂🤣

😎
Young at heart 😉 Slightly older in other places.😊 Cheers Doug
Liked by jbkiwi and pressonreguardless and
#7

For a 'bit of a laff' :-)

same to you Doug and everyone else
Len
LEN1
Liked by Wolle and Peejay and
#6

For a 'bit of a laff' :-)

EASTER BUNNIES😉

Happy Easter Folks,
Cheers, Doug😎
Young at heart 😉 Slightly older in other places.😊 Cheers Doug
Liked by Wolle and Peejay and
#5

For a 'bit of a laff' :-)

Hi PhilH,
Here's your humorous pick-u-up for today👍
'A warning to those who denigrate us oldies'😁

An elderly couple return to a Mercedes dealership to find the salesman had just sold the car they were interested in, to a beautiful young lady.

"I thought you said you would hold that car until we raised the $75,000 asking price," said the man.
"Yet I just heard you closed the deal for $65,000 to that lovely young lady over there. You insisted there could be no discounts on this model."

"Well, what can I say ? She had the ready cash and just look at her. How could I resist?" replied the grinning salesman.

Just then the young woman approached the old folks and handed them the keys.
"There you go." she said.
"I told you I could get this joker to drop the price.
See you later grandpa."

Goes to show; don't mess with the elderly.
We may get old but it don't have to mean we get stupid.😉

Chuckles All, Doug 😎
Young at heart 😉 Slightly older in other places.😊 Cheers Doug
Liked by jbkiwi and pressonreguardless and
#4

For a 'bit of a laff' :-)

Not quite 'dyke sheep', but on King Island in Bass Strait (between the Australian mainland and Tasmania) the saying is that 'when the wind stops blowing, the cows fall over'.🤣
Liked by Peejay and Razor1955 and
#3

For a 'bit of a laff' :-)

Thanks I needed a laugh today life gets a bit much sometimes 🤣🤣🤣
Philuk
Liked by pressonreguardless and Peejay and
#2

For a 'bit of a laff' :-)

It wasn't bad.
I have another one too.
We live in northern Germany, on the North Sea coast. We have a lot of dikes there. And the grass on the dykes is kept short by the so-called “dyke sheep”. They were bred specifically for this. Their legs are shorter on one side than the other side. This means they are able to walk along sloping
dikes. But you have to be careful that they
are walking on the right side, otherwise they
will roll down the dike.
🙄
Liked by jbkiwi and pressonreguardless and
#1

For a 'bit of a laff' :-)

A Guy comes home completely drunk one night
He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy.
“Where the hell have you been all night?” she demands.

“At this fantastic new bar,” he says
‘The Golden Saloon
Everything there is golden
It's got huge golden doors, a golden floor, the works – hell, even the urinal's gold!'

The wife still doesn't believe his story, and the next day checks the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon

She calls up the place to check her husband's story.
“Is this the Golden Saloon?” she asks when the bartender answers the phone.
“Yes it is,” bartender answers.
“Do you have huge golden doors?”
“Sure do.”
“Do you have golden floors?”
“Most certainly do.”
“What about golden urinals?”

There's a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling,
“Hey, Johnny, I think I got a lead on the guy that peed in your saxophone last night!”

😁😎
Young at heart 😉 Slightly older in other places.😊 Cheers Doug
Liked by jbkiwi and pressonreguardless and

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