However, this is what you should learn,

'If to your starboard red appear,
It is your duty to keep clear,
To act as judgement says is proper,
To starboard or port, back, or stop her'

But when upon your port is seen,
A steamers starboard light of green,
There's not so much for you to do,
For green to port keeps clear of you '

Cheers, Nerys

In order that the Officer of the Watch knows how to react to sighting an approaching ships lights at night .it is essential that he learns the appropriate rules. Here are a couple of 'aides memoires' that I was taught many years ago.
'When both sides lights you see ahead, leave the wheel and go to bed' and, 'When in danger or in doubt, blow your flippin side lights out'

Cheers, Nerys

Did they enjoy the pun t.
Cheers Colin.

My neighbour told me she wanted a painter, so I asked what size dinghy it was for.

Nerys

Scratch Bill,
I trust you both eventually came successfully alongside😉, with all springs and stays secured!?👍😮
Garry Chrimbo to you both ❤️🎁🎁
Cheers, Doug 😎
PS I'll have no truck with mast climbing, done my share, now too old and stiff!🤔

So there I was between the devil and the deep blue sea.
This left me a little in the doldrums.I told the trouble and strife.That left me in deep water,so I gave her her a wide berth.
She then said don’t worry all is above board dear.
We went abaft and then abreast,and made our way aloft to the truck.
As it was Christmas we had Brussels which gave us apparent wind,this ruined the anti fouling so she failed to answer the helm.
Happy Christmas.

Thank you!

Speaking of yarns, it was a rope-yarn Sunday when she seized me by my blouse, passed me a wormed parcel and told me to cast off and get underway. It was tack upon tack as we worked our way upwind towards the mail buoy. Several crew were sea sick and it wasn't long before I joined the heaving line. Once I cleared my hawse pipe and got out of the scupper I manned the tiller and........

... dear reader, I won't bore you with the entire passage, but if you ever get seasick, you needn't worry - you have to get better to die!

RNinMunich: By your leave sir! I really should be doing some holy-stoning and bricking the brass around this old barky or Herself will wonder why I'm so adrift these past watches!😀

Thou spins a good yarn shipmate Black Shoe👍
More power to thy bilge pumps and check valves.
May your Plimsolls never be submerged😁
Sounds like your Mrs is a good Buffer!
Thinks! Is a female Bosun's Mate a Bosun's Mistress?😮😂
😎
BTW Congrats on your promotion Master👍

'Mornin' Doug, I've been sailing close on the wind for years. I can't fathom why she puts up with my jibes, but she's only lowered the boom a couple of times. If I get in harm's way a couple of clew earrings seem to caulk the breech. She tells me I'm an old cutter, but she's never threatened me with the brig. When I get off course she'll brace me around and box my compass telling me I better steer small!
I'm OK until the bilge water over flows my boot top, then I get a sinking feeling. Herself will come to my aid and bail me out in spite of my sailing three sheets to the wind.
As for my current voyage, I think I may shift some cargo, correct this list, and take a caulk.

Colin, Martin,
I'm already the (self appointed) CO of the 'Stuff and Nonsense Dept.'
Nautical Nutters are more than welcome to join up😊
Rear Admiral Colin; as the (newly appointed😉) Head of Personnel / Human Resources Dept. please arrange appropriate transfer papers for all volunteers.
😁😂😎

I Like that Colin.
Maybe Doug (Fleet) could be in charge.LOL!!!

Martin555.

Maybe we should have a section called nautical nutters, for those of us with a sense of humour.
It certainly brightens my day.
Cheers Colin.

Thank's Colin with 3 i's i should be able to see better LOL!!

Martin555.

Well Martin, I suppose you'll be going in circles without the plot.
We will have to send you a pilot, poke the i out
and you get the plot back.
Keep em coming shipmate.
Cheers Colin.

Sound like you need some new charts Martin,
Or your radar's off kilter!
😎

Your lucky Doug you only lost wood, i lost the plot LOL!!

Martin555.

A tale of two 'tacks'!
I was updating my cork-board yesterday.
Took a couple of 'sheets' down and two 'tacks' fell out, and I sat on the 'spikes'😮😭
BTW Anyone know where I put my last delivery of balsa?
I seem to have some 'lost wood'☹️
I know I know! All very 'riveting' 😁
I'll get my coat.
CU outside Rob
😎

"perhaps the sheer couldn't handle the ballast in that hull after all."
Sailing a bit close to the wind there aren't you shipmate?😮
Hope the Missus doesn't know your site password!!!🤞
Cheers, Doug 😎

RE :- a sail with only two corners

Incorrectly rigged.LOL!!!

Martin555.

"a sail with only two corners"
A 'bit' of a 'gaff' what😮 Nerys?
😁😎

"What do you call a sail with only two corners?" "I haven't a clew"

Nerys

Being the Christmas season, we put up a smallish tree, more like a stem than a tree. We put a star on the truck and spliced the mainbrace. My wife made a pudding for the bow, and served it up in a gravy boat. I wanted to get her something sheer and would have, but got that old deadeye that told me I wasn't charlie noble anymore. "Just as well old girl" I thought to myself, perhaps the sheer couldn't handle the ballast in that hull after all. She can haul her wind and get tight in the waist, but gets cranky in stays and it's better to let her run large.😊

The other day I was out and about and bought some battens for a job I was undertaking in Kiel.
As it was getting close to Christmas I thought I would go to the forward Pulpit and on the way home go to the butcher and get my Gooseneck.This will be the mainstay of my shopping.
As I walked home I thought I heard Concord as there was a massive Boom so I called into my local and put one down the hatch.There I saw a local winch,and the landlord said....Genoa.I said,never seen her before.
When I got home I heard the latest Covid restrictions and to be honest thought.....
BOLLARDS.
I could go on but don’t want to risk being thrown off this site.

Regards Bill.🍷🍷🍷🧑‍🎄🧑‍🎄

They absolutely wood knot Nerys, probably think a binnacle was a type of shellfish😁

JB

How right you are! JB. I suspect there are many who wouldn't have a 'clew'.

Cheers, Nerys

Hi Nerys, wonder what they would think a bumpkin was, - probably 99% would say a simple crew member😂

JB